I cried.

That's right, I AM upset. I feel like I have all the rights to be. I fell below my expectations. I fell right in front of everybody. EVERYBODY who was waiting for my performance. I felt so embarrassed. So retarded. So fucked. How could I possibly not be? HOW COULD I?????? I worked so hard for this...............so bloody damned hard.

Yeah, I know crying in front of everyone automatically makes you a crybaby. I know how shit that feels, trust me in this. It fucking sucks. But only if you know me well enough, I am never one who wants to cry to get attention from anyone. Never, ever. No.

I know there were two types of people right after my performance. One, those who genuinely cared and felt proud of me when I wasn't of myself. Two, the ones who pretend to care and secretly just judging me inside what an embarrassment I must have been and for God's sake for literally crying out loud after the show.

I really don't know who is which, and I don't wish to know.

May some sinsei magic work on my right foot tomorrow, I don't know how to pass biomechanics assessment with a bandaged foot. But always thankful to have Mario, at all the right times in my life. Thank you God, even if I don't believe in you.